guy:

how do i stop growing up this isn’t fun anymore

themasterpupil:

feministism:

always remember

unclefather:

someones mom: make yourself at home, would you like something to drink?

me: *very dry mouth like spongebob in sandy’s tree dome*

me: no thank you

ensyme:

my American gf: pound me
me: what’s that in metric

teardropsonmyguitar:

just saying but i think i had a pretty rough year and i deserve some of that romantic love type stuff

mckenziekatherine:

mckenziekatherine:

mckenziekatherine:

just remember that I, a registered nurse with a bachelors degree, accidentally glued a patient’s foreskin shut over his penis and had to call a urology doctor to come help me get it to retract

I had to send a page that said “I glued the patient’s penis shut. send help.”

The urology resident said, “Wow. I’ve never seen anything like this. Let me go ask someone else.”

It’s been like 5 days since this happened and I’m just sitting at the nurses station with some coworkers and the urology resident walks by and says “hey! Glue any penises shut lately??” And keeps on walking

THEN ALL MY COWORKERS WERE LIKE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

and so yeah, that freaking doctor exposed me and went on his way

Ive just come to accept that I am a sad person naturally but I can still try to be happy and appreciate all the good things in my life even if I am overall depressed